Reality

I am missing so much of life.... Drew is graduating from 8th grade and where am I???? Stuck here in bed...... He doesn't seem to mind but I am so sad to miss so much of this time in his life....... I guess having a pregnant mom is not super cool when you are in 8th grade..... Anyway I know my little ones need me to stay where I am...... Stuck in bed......I missed seeing Drew's last club basketball game or helping him prepare for graduation.... He is getting so big so quick and can not believe my baby is going to high school........ I remember laying in bed with him and the scares I had during his pregnancy and now look where he is...... Seeing this makes me both thrilled and sad.... I know that God kept him safe and sound happy and well adjusted.... I pray he does the same for my two new monkeys.... I guess the reality of the situation is Isaac and Bella need me more then he does but it hurts to not be available or there for him like I normally am..... The doctor said to prepare for more hospital time as well as NICU time for these guys and I had to fight back the tears... Why is it so hard to remeber we have no controll???????