Egg Retrieval Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day.... I am so excited yet so nervous... My estrogen level is a little high.. Trying to see that as optimistic for lots of eggs would not be a surprise to have as few as 8 or as many as 18..
I am trying to relax and be positive and optimistic.. However I know that the most frustrating part of this is that there is no control.. God is in control and as much as I should find that comforting I begin to question if this is my plan not his.. I am being obedient and praying and asking but what if his answer is no.. What if when he formed the world his plan was for me to only have Drew.. I know I need to be thankful for my first miracle but I wish my head would communicate with my heart. Praying that if that is the answer that God will quite the longing and desperation I am feeling today.. I truly am crying to him from the depths of my heart to hear my prayer. Praying and dreaming that his answer is yes and this is the promise in my heart that God will hear and answer my prayer for another child.. Waiting for the completion of my family..
John is amazing and patient and kind.. I could not ask for anything more from my wonderful husband.. He has made this journey tolerable and even fun and humorous at times. He is what makes me realize that God does answer prayers he heard my prayer when I thought my life was over and I would never love or marry again ... He was with me when I was battered and bruised and crying out for answers.. My prayer today is that once again he will hear my prayer and the answer will be yes..

Almost there...

Things are looking good a little rocky this time as my follicles took a while to show up.. Today they look good and they said things are going well... I am resting doing accupuncture as well as taking a few Xanax to make to time go quickly and rest as much as possible... Trying to just roll with it but not really my personality... Either way looks like we will be at least embryo mom and dad by Sunday.... That alone makes me excited... Praying for peace and of course a two line stick in a few weeks... This is really the thing I have wanted most in my life besides a man who loves me and my Drew... Praying this is it my completion to the journey....

It has begun....

Here we go again so far no drama all is going well.. I am on the 4th day of injecting myself with the meds that will hopefully bring our dream to us once and for all... The first set of testing showed all looks good... Hoping for good follicles as well as rest and peace this time...

Preparing for IVF

I have been a little quite about our plans as we are just figuring out them as we go along.. We are going to attempt IVF very soon.....As we plan for this huge event in our lives we are trying to spend some quality time together as well as try not to focus on infertility treatments at all... Now that the time is coming closer we have cleaned the garage labeled the drawers and gone through every box... The meds are ordered the finances as figured out as they can be... Johns mom is ready to come out and help take care of me since I get so sick.... My work is ready for leave of absence... I started the pre IVF accupuncture on Monday.... I have made my IVF ipod mix so I can learn to relax..... So now we are just waiting for the big day and the start to our final journey of our attempt to become parents... I am trying to be patient and wait for my body to tell me it is time... Not sure how much this time I will be able to blog since I am trying to focus on other stuff but the details of the IF.... Praying wishing and hoping it is soon the timing is right and it will be worth it....