23 weeks tomorrow...

Isabella in 4d

Isabella Profile

Isaac in 4d

Isaac Profile

Here are the latest baby pictures.............. Love them sooooo much it makes me cry........ Praying for a lot more pregnant weeks.....

22 weeks

I am 22 weeks today.... Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!! One more week down probably 11-13 left...... I can do it!!!!!!! One week at a time.................. My family came over yesterday to celebrate cousin spring/summer bithdays.. so nice to be distracted..... My nieces even painted my toes.... I think I need to redo them but it was a nice thought.... Drew kissed my belly and Isabella gave him a swift kick .............. Super fun.............

cervix is shorter and so is my patience

Yesterday was our repeat anatomy screen and the good news is everything looks great. Isaac and Isabella are both right around 1 pound... They look fabulous but my cervix is even shorter so the plan for now is home for a few weeks more then back to Hotel Hoag............. Yuck.... I am pretty over this but still love my monkeys and know I have no option but to lay here endure hope and pray...... I am 21 and 4/7 today so 2 weeks 3 days till minimum viability.... That is the first goal........... Baby steps.... Did I ever mention I was not very good at having patience?????????

21 weeks

A few days late in this post but I am still pregnant ........................... Yeah getting bigger more and more uncomfortable................. But soooo happy sooooo gratefull for everyday............... We are going tomorrow for our level 3 utrasound to double check their growth and structures..... Everything looked great a few weeks ago... Praying it still does and that my cervix is hanging in there................... Whoo hoo one more week down................

Reality

I am missing so much of life.... Drew is graduating from 8th grade and where am I???? Stuck here in bed...... He doesn't seem to mind but I am so sad to miss so much of this time in his life....... I guess having a pregnant mom is not super cool when you are in 8th grade..... Anyway I know my little ones need me to stay where I am...... Stuck in bed......I missed seeing Drew's last club basketball game or helping him prepare for graduation.... He is getting so big so quick and can not believe my baby is going to high school........ I remember laying in bed with him and the scares I had during his pregnancy and now look where he is...... Seeing this makes me both thrilled and sad.... I know that God kept him safe and sound happy and well adjusted.... I pray he does the same for my two new monkeys.... I guess the reality of the situation is Isaac and Bella need me more then he does but it hurts to not be available or there for him like I normally am..... The doctor said to prepare for more hospital time as well as NICU time for these guys and I had to fight back the tears... Why is it so hard to remeber we have no controll???????

Optimisim

Ok being optimistic has never been one of my finer traits..... I always see the glass half empty rather then half full.... I am trying so hard to be optimistic about these little monkeys... I am praying for them and loving them the best way I can right now.... It is so frustrating that all I can do is lay here and wait .... Did I mention I am not very patient either:( Ahhh anyway.... Today I started reading about prematurity and what to expect and prepare for..I had to stop I know that is part of my future probably but want to delay that pain as long as possible.... Reading about them sticking my babies with tubes and such breaks my heart already and can not imagine having to deal with that when thery are here and hurting... So instead I cried and prayed put away the book and turned on my ipod... I had read last night on my 20 week update that they now respond to touch and can hear.... So we had a little ipod session and it was fun to feel them move and stroke my belly and imagine what they are doing in there......I am determined to try to stay positive and keep them in here as long as I can ..... I love these monkeys so much and can not wait till they are here safe and sound.....

20 weeks 20 weeks 20 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!

I am 20 weeks today!!!!! I never thought after all that happened at 16 weeks or during my surgery that all of us would be here... I am still worried still contracting but trying to take my victories where I can..... Today I will celebrate and be thankful...... Forgetting I have so far to go 16 weeks and yesterday the toilet overflowed and my phone charger started to catch on fire ..... Yeah..........

Today stinks....

I am contracting again not sure if it is just because my stomache is upset or because of the babies... My work called and they can no longer hold my position.... I have been gone for too long.... Not that I dont blame them it just sucks.... Now I might have to work on a real floor in the hospital instead of specialty....... Just so bummed and frustrated..... I dont feel good I am worried not only for the babies but for our finances... Just need to cry and pray..... where is the strength and hope I felt yesterday........

Passing the time....

I am sure eventually I will look back on these days and wish I could just hang out in bed all day.... even now that would be OK if I did not analyse and worry over every twinge and contraction.... Trying so hard to just trust in God and put these little lives in his hands.... My ultrasound yesterday showed there was no major cervical changes since the surgery.... I am so thankful that that has been what looks like a lifesaver for my little monkeys.... They also decided I can now take the medicine Procardia if or should I say when my labor returns.. So many nurses and doctors told me there was nothing they could do for me.... But I am convinced in the power of prayer and that they are here for a reason..... I can not wait to deliver these guys healthy and strong and show that God can work miracles... As my OB says I am a obstetrical nightmare and my RE said he had never seen anyone with so many issues and complications......... But God said nothing is too big for me to conquer ....... So here I am almost 20 weeks with healthy twins on the way and hope for now that they will make it......

So thankfull to be home and still pregnant.......

I changed the song because all through the week and during my surgery this old song played in my head....... trusting in God as we just got home and showered from a long week in the hospital..... We came really close to loosing our little ones and I am praying and thanking God... We are all still here... My cervix had dilated and they sent me directly over from an ultrasound to labor and delivery... At 18 weeks these babies have no chance of viability and there is not much they could do to stop the contractions... We found out I was able to try a surgery where they sew up your cervix and pray that that helps the babies stay put for a while at least... I had the surgery Wednesday afternoon.... I had full labor all afternoon after the surgery which they were able to stop with a controversial drug called Indocin... I am so grateful to have the best doctors I could think of taking care of me and when Isaac and Bella enter the world I will owe them my life for saving my babies....I would name my kids after them if I could but Tamarou Gigi Consoletti might be a rough name for a little kid.... I am still contracting off and on and have so far to go... However I am one week farther then most thought I would be..... In the last week they have become so active......... It has been so fun to see them poke and roll... John even got to feel them move when we were in the hospital.... He has been my rock and sanity for really the last 19 weeks but even more in the last week. For today I am home and look forward to hopefully many more days here before my little ones are safe on the outside world...For now I will wake up every morning and rub my belly and thank God for every second I get to spend with my miracles.......