Looking good so far...

Today was my second beta or pregnancy hormone level check... John and I got there and I waddled up to the second floor... As we waited for my name to be called I saw the face of the women across from me and realized that she had the look that unhappy look of desperation and quickly figured out that we were happily talking about if we we were having one or two and playfully talking about naming the little ones inside of me... I am so afraid of becoming her again... I also feel her pain I realize that for now I am the one causing her pain.... I have been thinking about her all day... I am so afraid that these little guys won't hang on and once again I will be the bitter and sad one in the chair... I guess I am trying to pray and focus on what I can control... Last beta on Friday and then the ultrasound on Monday.. Praying that I will make it that far and thanking God.... Really still in disbelief that I am where I am... Praying I will do everything I can for these little lives that have been in trusted to me... For however long I get to have them....