Looking good so far...

Today was my second beta or pregnancy hormone level check... John and I got there and I waddled up to the second floor... As we waited for my name to be called I saw the face of the women across from me and realized that she had the look that unhappy look of desperation and quickly figured out that we were happily talking about if we we were having one or two and playfully talking about naming the little ones inside of me... I am so afraid of becoming her again... I also feel her pain I realize that for now I am the one causing her pain.... I have been thinking about her all day... I am so afraid that these little guys won't hang on and once again I will be the bitter and sad one in the chair... I guess I am trying to pray and focus on what I can control... Last beta on Friday and then the ultrasound on Monday.. Praying that I will make it that far and thanking God.... Really still in disbelief that I am where I am... Praying I will do everything I can for these little lives that have been in trusted to me... For however long I get to have them....

Finally... It has happened....

Affter all of the surgery, drugs, praying hoping and tears I am so happy to announce we are pregnant...... My first set of blood work confirmed today that I am in his words "very pregnant". He said if my levels stay like this that we can expect twins... I was thrilled with the hope and prayer of one but two is even better. Praying for my little ones.. Still like a dream that I am pregnant... I will feel better when I know they are safe and snug inside... We should see them on Monday.. I am so excited.... Kind of gross but here is the proof.

Introducing our Blastocyst Twins....

So today is the 5th day after the embryo transfer... I actually feel great except for the sore booty from the horrible progesterone shots... We have had so many problems from that this time... I also have broken out in this random rash all over my back.... But other then that no symptoms and feel great ughhhhh... Oh well.. trying to remain optimistic.. We have some embies saved so there is always a second chance.. The two they implanted are perfect quality and I am already in love... The top one was actually in the middle of a cell division which I thought was so cool... According to the embryologist only a while later it looks exactly like the other embryo... Anyway.. I was so overwhelmed with how far we have come that on the day of the transfer I felt like it was my wedding day... I could not stop sobbing..... So happy I have a memory of my two little ones even if they don't stick around... The doc said they were pretty enough for a textbook cover.....

12 Little Embryo's

The first fertilization report showed that 12 out of the 17 eggs that they retrieved fertilized. We are waiting to find out if we are going to be able to wait to transfer on Thursday or if we need to do it tomorrow. I prayed for each little embie today and hope tomorrow I will hear they are doing well. Praying that I will get to see them on Thursday and then then again in nine months....